So I had an email in my inbox today from Friends Reunited. It said "there has been recent activity on Friends Reunited". My first thought was actually...i bet there hasn't.
Anyway, halfway between bored and intrigued I end up at Friends Reunited, only to confirm that not only has there not been any new activity, but there's actually just nothing there except for some virtual tumbleweed that I'm 93% certain I saw blow across the screen.
I say 93% certain, because I've run out of my tea bags and am experiencing increasing levels of paranoia and delusions. Before you get worried, please rest assured that my tea is not brewed from illegal compounds - there isn't even any caffeine in it. It's called White Tea (not to be mistaken with tea that has milk in it) and to bore anyone pitiful enough to be reading this, it's from the same plants as black tea (eg pg tips, typhoo* etc) only the tea leaves are picked from the young bud before it caffeinates or becomes bitter.
So, to summarise, my tea is weak and looks like pee but it makes me happy. Interestingly (and please understand that I've taken poetic license with the use of the word 'interestingly') on the box of a more expensive brand of White Tea there is the text: Tea drinking is a celebration of earth's bounty and various other new-age messages that led some of my so-called friends to accuse me of drinking (and I Quote Liz Brown) "Wicken Tea"and "Devil Water" and even went so far as to suggest I shouldn't drink it in church.
Anyone seeing any virtual tumbleweed across this screen?
My 9 month old girl is a bit of a wimp. And I'm not allowed to call her a wimp, so I will use the word 'sensitive'. She is terrified of unexpected noises, including (but not limited to) laughter, coughs, sneezes and loud clapping. If I laugh while she's in the room and it takes her by surprise she will look up at me, pause for 4-6 seconds and then the bottom lip quivers quickly followed by crying and genuine streaming tears.
The only way to stop the onset of crying once the bottom lip has started to quiver is to break into song, the most effective song being about a polar bear, with a song about some monkeys coming in a close second.
That was until yesterday when my singing actually escalated the crying up a phase to wailing (only two phases below hysteria) and the only thing that comforted her in the end was her mum.
This is a bit embarrassing but I got scammed on Tuesday. I was walking back from the shop when two guys and a girl approached me and said they were filming the new series of The Real Hustle, for BBC5. Not wanting to look stupid I pretended I had heard of BBC5 and said I was looking forward to the new show. They pointed out the "hidden" cameraman in a nearby shop window and said I should act like I was an innocent victim and go ahead with whatever happened to make good footage and ensure others don't fall for the same scams.
Always wanting the opportunity to be on television I agreed and they walked away as explained and re-appeared 30 seconds later. They told me they were selling diamonds worth £3000 for £800 and all i had to do was withdraw £800 cash then I would get the certified diamond. We went to the ATM and i withdrew the £800 at which point the girl punched me in the face and they ran away.
Once I'd stopped my nosebleed I went to complain to the "hidden" cameraman but he was a cardboard cutout.
You live and learn.
*Incidentally typhoo is a funny word, it sounds like a sneeze and in my marketing classes at university we were always told not to name brands after bodily functions
