Breaks & Sheiks

Six weeks ago I broke my leg (heroically) playing football. My leg didn't swell up or turn blue, it wasn't "dangly" and no bone was visibly enquiring through my skin, so at first it was difficult to determine whether or not it was actually broken.

Not wanting to appear feeble I followed some well meant advice, and tried to "jog it off". I managed to stand with all my weight on the broken leg for approximately eight tenths of a second before my ankle threatened to buckle, and my leg became rather more painful. At this point I sat back down and waited for the final whistle, some 35 minutes later.

My wife later questioned why I did not insist someone take me to the A&E immediately and to this day she is not satisfied by my answer of 'I didn't want to interrupt the game'. We have agreed to disagree.

Actually we have now agreed to disagree on a number of topics, some of which I can list without having to sleep on the sofa as a result:

1. Scones. I sit in the cream then jam camp.
2. Names. I think we should choose an ethnic name for our next baby, to celebrate the diverse part of London we live in.
3. Words. I think it is acceptable to teach our two year daughter old words like boobies, poopy & fatty.
4. Combat. I think it is important our daughter learns a variety of wrestling moves.
5. Laundry. I believe Jeans only need washing at 6 month intervals.
6. Water. I think money can be saved by occasionally forgoing a shower.
7. Films. I think films about dancing (especially musicals) should only be viewed during the day while I'm at work.

Hopefully nothing in the above is a deal breaker in terms of our relationship - we celebrate 5 years of marriage later this year so they can't be causing that much tension.

So anyway, my leg broke and this provided Megan with the opportunity to make us laugh. Firstly, if she sees my crutches more than 2 feet away from me, or if anyone else touches them she screams "no no no no no - daddies" and brings them to me, even when I'm in the bath. Secondly, she copies my walk - sticking one leg straight out like my leg in the plaster cast which is very funny, and she is very pleased with herself when we laugh at it.

Speaking of her speaking, today she came out with her longest ever sentence. She managed to escape off of her change mat sans nappy and ran into her Peppa Pig house (kind of a house-shaped tent she plays with in her bedroom).
She then proceeded to urinate on the floor, closely followed by the line:
Oh dear, Peppa my wee-wee.

Recently we had a meal with our friends Gavin & Sarah. Gavin had admitted to being the 4th reader of my blog, hence the dinner invite. We decided on cooking a middle-eastern feast, incorporating dishes from Syria, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon & Israel.

I chose the recipe for the main course as it was the most obscure recipe I had ever read. It was called Koazy al Macarona, and consists of chicken in a spiced tomato & yogurt sauce, on a bed of spaghetti, garnished with cumin flavoured mince beef & onions, with matchstick potatoes and hard boiled eggs.

I was intrigued by all the component layers of the dish, so didn't really stop to look at what the finished dish might look like.

When I served it, I suddenly realised I had served chicken and pasta, with chilli and chips on top, with some hard boiled eggs thrown in for good measure.

It was quite heavy...I guess having chips and pasta was a bit of a carb overload, and the chicken & beef combo did nothing to make the dish any lighter!

It all tasted fine, as each part was well cooked, but I was left wondering if I had accidentally cut & pasted two recipes together without realising.

Possibly not my finest culinary moment, but still better than a few of the dishes served up by my mum. I should point out she is very good in the kitchen and has cooked some of the best food I have eaten, but there were some howlers when I was younger and I will leave you with these...

• Chilli non Carne (chilli, in which she tried to substitute minced beef for rehydrated soya mince)
• Macaroni Ch (there was no obvious cheese sauce in this classic dish)
• Spaghetti Carrot-Pulp-ognese (having read that carrot pulp can bulk up a spag bol, she decided not to include any meat, instead preferring to make the dish with the pulp extracted from her carrot juice craze of 1998)

All this talk of food has got me hungry, so I'm off to make dinner.
Tonight - smoked salmon in a Guinness and sage sauce, served with a pickled onion and prune salad.